Planet Love

Peeps be always struggling to decipher what people say versus what they mean. I feel like you almost usually just know it but choose to wallow in your fantasies hoping that one day they might come true. So today i’mma share some of the phrases you’ve probably already heard and tell you exactly what they mean; I have a… It might seem harmless and just like someone is being super honest with you.. but are they really.. they are just being direct and sending a signal that they are really uninterested and see nothing happening there.   It's like putting up the walls before you have a chance to slip through them… setting up boundaries.. I don’t need your money.. Ideally when someone says this, they really mean that they want you to listen to them and understand them, their likes, their favourites. Instead of giving them money, they want you to do something thoughtful for them. It could be something like ordering a taxi for them instead of giving them money for the cab. They wa...

Lately, so many cases of partners killing each other have emerged and have become very rampant. Well, it's puzzling, why would anyone want to kill someone they love so dearly.  I've been thinking about it and I have some ideas of what could be causing it. Self esteem When someone has a low opinion about themself they will tend to seek justification from the world to make them feel good about themselves. In a relationship, they will seek justification from their partner and feel that no one else can accept, understand or love them. Their partner determines their worth and without them then they think they're worthless.  This could spring from constant rejection or not getting any attention in the past. So when someone finally loves them or shows them attention, it's like they become glued. In the event of a disagreement or a looming break up, fear kicks in and the partner resorts to killing the partner because they feel without them they are worthless or no one ...

Some people tend to think that as long as there's love, nothing else matters. It's all they need. But how many people have been so in love but still ended up not working out... many!! It gets people wondering what could possibly be greater than love ?!?! Some people even stop believing in love thinking it's overrated. Well here's the thing about love, both partners want to feel appreciated, acknowledged, respected, understood... all that..it is what forms the bond in a relationship. But there's also that other side of every human being that doesn't want to fail, everyone wants to win or at least die trying; we all want to be right, have the superior opinions, win the arguments. It boosts our ego, makes us feel valuable, indispensable. So what happens in a relationship; what breaks them.. It's easier to receive/ take than give as it is less risky, less demanding, I mean all you have to do is sit back, relax and receive . Humans are however reciproca...

Motherhood is a never ending journey.. once you get on board you can't just decide to alight.. doesn't matter how you got on it in the first place. I know I am personally scared of this journey; from conception to labour to sleepless nights and dealing with rebellion.. Mostly just scared of the pain but motherhood isn't just about pain, it  sure has its equal share of pain and happiness.The pain however is not as a result of doing anything wrong but rather part of the journey. With that said.. I am not a mother, have never been one and probably won't be one anytime soon but I am still allowed to send a message to mothers.. without them none of us would even exist. The ASPIRING  Mother Children look so cute,  just one look at them and you can't stop thinking of holding your own in your hands. You're so eager to be a mother, the idea of having a mini you, feeding, clothing, loving and caring for it, excites you. It's easy to forget the aspect of fami...

Passion is a major part of a romantic relationship. It keeps the fire burning in the relationship, keeps the partners longing for each other. In this, partners explore their pleasures and seek to make each other happy and satisfied. So let's talk about the shy lover.. It may seem like they don't want or enjoy the pleasure or like they are giving mixed signals about what they want. They are like a puzzle you need to figure out and once the puzzle is figured out, it opens up a whole new world for both partners. Let's figure out this puzzle together... Lead Take the lead with a shy lover, initiate the pleasure. A shy lover can't initiate, they are scared they wont do it right , weak in that moment, self conscious about how they are perceived. They think about it in their minds but are unable to execute. One may think they aren't interested but that really isn't the case. Once the bolder partner takes the lead, the shy counterpart is able to follow and pic...

I totally made that word up but give me a chance to explain it to you… Valentine’s is considered THE day of love; a day when people express and celebrate their love for each other.   Some people don’t buy into the idea feeling like there’s no need to have a day to do something that should actually be done every single day. I actually am for the idea of valentine’s; a day to do something just a little extra. Valentine’s however present an idea of a ceremonial love, expressing love on specific occasions then going back to a lull, being comfortable and not putting in extra effort. This could be birthdays, holidays… special occasions. So what really is a valentine love? A love that is inconsistent, absent most of the time, only presented as a gift when it’s convenient… just enough to keep the fire from dying out but not really adding any wood to fuel it. This kind of love slowly gets toxic and becomes an obsession, an addiction. It’s harder to leave when the dropl...

It’s the trickiest form of dating. Some people are too scared of it but others are willing to give it a try pegging a very low success rate on it. It could be the strongest relationship or the weakest…it all depends on the partners in the relationship. It has its merits and its fair share of challenges. PROS Absence makes the heart grow fonder! The love just keeps growing and it’s like falling in love a fresh each time you meet. Deep connection. Any chance to talk or meet is highly valued and appreciated. The commitment is serious and more effort is put into it. Successful. Most end up in marriage. The couple is not distracted by ‘small issues’, they are working towards a common goal and clearly know where the relationship is headed… they do everything possible to make it work. Trust . The partners trust each other and they are able to hold on to that trust to stay faithful focusing on their goals as a couple. They keep each other strong. Free. The relationsh...

Men have so many times been likened to dogs🐶 and thinking of it..it kinda is accurate. See dogs are loyal and always come back to their masters/owners at the end of the day. They however have multiple partners; basically any female counterpart. It’s something that’s just in them. Men are naturally visual creatures 😵 and they love challenges. A man will go for a lady just because they like what they see and they thrill from the challenge of pursuing the lady. This is not because they aren’t satisfied in their relationship or don’t love anymore. It’s just the thrill of it…they mostly can’t help themselves…something to do with masculinity. Most chics like to think and believe that their guy is faithful to them as they haven’t caught them yet or they just can’t imagine it.   This just means that they are very careful or respect the chic so much as not to do it in their face. Of course a guy will take the necessary measures to cover up, giving you enough attention, clearing...

The greatest issue most couples deal with in relationships is attention. Ladies say their men aren't giving them enough or aren't giving any at all while the guys say their ladies are being needy, not understanding or unappreciative.  The surprising thing is that it doesn't require great gestures, it's always the little things that count. So what are the 'little things'... Call Calling has a way of making someone feel appreciated and special . She gets to hear your voice, your laugh which makes her feel your presence even if you are not there physically.  Instead of texting her after a long day when you're too exhausted to keep up with the conversation such that it ends up being rushed, cold or left hanging, calling is more engaging, in touch and complete. All it takes is a phone call. Physical Contact Nothing beats physical contact. That's why some people are indifferent towards long distance relationships. Try and get some tim...

When it comes to relationships, there are three significant levels of commitment that come into play and need serious consideration. Dating When dating someone, you are committing your time, emotions, finances, energy, trust, loyalty  to them. It is therefore important for both partners to be mature enough before engaging in such a commitment. Mental maturity is key as the partners should have the mental capacity to handle all the emotions that come about in the course of dating.  The partners should also have the time, energy to engage in such a commitment. Get into this commitment when you are fully aware of what it entails and are mentally mature to handle it. Making love This is a huge commitment in itself but it's significance tends be overlooked. Here one is trusting their partner with their body and emotions and submitting to them. This signifies a much deeper emotional connection and seeks to create a physical bond between the partners. This com...

It's surprising how by now some chics still can't tell when a dude is trying to hit on them; I feel there are those lines that at least every dude uses or has ever used on a chic and so are pretty common! Let's venture into the world of pick up lines and find out which ones are used and why..  You look familiar  🤔 They usually start by staring at you till you notice then they will approach you and throw this line at you. The aim here is to grab your attention and divert it to themselves. They also get you to start thinking about them since you are trying to figure out where you guys might have met. In the process you end up blurbing stuff about yourself like where you work, live or school at. Are you okay? 😐 Well this might seem quite harmless.. I know, like it's just pure concern. They approach when you're probably engaged and this is to get your attention.  They want to get you talking and make you just take time to look at them. The funny ...

I recently saw something that sent chills down my spine. You see the way people nowadays hold up signs saying "I need a job" , well that one said "I need a husband" . It got me thinking of what could have possibly led to this situation and how to evade it.. Fun💃🍸 In their twenties, most girls are always saying NO to dudes that are interested in something serious with them especially when words like; marriage, future, kids are used. They'd rather 'enjoy' in relationships that aren't serious because they are either afraid of commitment or feel like they are still too young to think of the future. By the time they are finally ready to settle down, all the husbands have already been taken and they become frustrated and desperate. My take; Mental stability is all you need to go into a relationship. There is no specific age. Do not be             afraid to get into it when you feel you are mature enough to handle one. Remember this is   ...

Come to think of it, what is love?...Isn't it all about the time, gifts, attention you give to your partner. Every single thing you do for your partner either to win them over or keep them counts. Isn't there an end goal or an expectation in doing all these?  Don't we all expect that the more we give the more we will receive from our partners? And what is an investment , isn't it the action of putting money, effort, time, etc. into something to make profit or get an advantage, or the money, effort, time, etc. used to do this.  We however tend to convince ourselves that our actions are not essentially an investment but rather an expression of love. We've all heard of  partners who've helped the other partner when they were not doing so well in life but get dumped when cette partner makes it big. What happens? Can we say it's a case of falling out of love?.. It's just a case of poor communication between the partners. Both parties should b...

Most people enter into marriages without knowing each other's fertility status , no one even thinks about this in the courtship stage. They are either busy being in love with each other or focusing on getting married that they are not able to think about what happens next. This therefore leads to divorces, infidelity, abusive or spiteful relationships where regret follows when they are confronted with the problem. How do you avoid the situation altogether?.. In the courtship stage when things seem to be getting more serious, it's best to talk to your partner about the issue.  Find out how they feel about kids and if they could handle being childless. Talk about what each of you would do in such a scenario and it's best to be as honest as possible with each other. Explore your options in the case this ever happens to you in the course of your marriage. You should also both get examined by a doctor to determine your fertility status. You are able to make decisions ...

In most relationships the abusers are men. They usually feel like they own women and therefore have a right to treat them as they wish. This is what they keep telling themselves... They provoked me It was their fault I was angry It's not a habit, happened just this once These are just excuses you tell yourself to justify your actions but this just makes things move from bad to worse. Here's what you should do; Accept You have to accept that what you are doing is not right and start looking at them as mistakes. Confront Face your mistakes and handle them. Lay the blame on yourself instead of the victim and reflect on why it happens and how to prevent it. Be remorseful  You have to apologize for your mistakes and show remorse by following up with an initiative or resolution to change. Seek help  You are eventually going to have to accept that you have a problem if it keeps on repeating itself and do something about it. You could go for ...

This time I focus on much deeper issues in relationships that we are often trying to cover up and people rarely talk about them. Domestic violence is something that is often kept on the down low … no one talks about it. It is meant to be a silent suffering and speaking of it is abominable and is like ‘airing dirty laundry’.  In most cases, the victims are often the females In the victim’s perspective this is how it is……. The first time he hits you, he was not in a good mood, The second, it was a mistake; he did not mean it The third time, it was your fault The next time you’re sure he’ll change It never ends!! Action has to be taken before it gets too late and when so much damage has been done. So what can you do as the victim;…… Accept First you have to accept that what is happening is indeed domestic violence and that it is not right. The first stage of solving any problem is accepting that the problem is actually there. Stop making...

At least each couple goes through that phase in their relationships. You feel like there is so much 'distance' between you and your partner yet they are right beside you. It is completely normal, don't freak out, something can be done about it. So what can you do.. Vacation Plan one just for the two of you or even with your family if you have one. A vacation takes your mind off the pressures of everyday life like work. You are able to focus completely on yourselves due to the absence of distractions. Make it a habit so you are able to always get time for yourselves and really connect with each other once in awhile. Dates You need to take time to take each other out just the two of you. It doesn't have to always be the man taking the lady out, the lady could also do it once in awhile...it would actually be a sweet surprise for him. Going on dates enables you to appreciate each other. You are able to take time to look good for your partner and they appreci...

Word around town is that totally straight dudes are finding it hard to behave like the men they are. We can't have straight dudes behaving like chics!! Dr. 💚 just had to step in!! So..there are those dudes who just find it hard to man up in relationships; could be they are the shy type, they are so in love they don't know how to behave...but not anymore..Geejay to the rescue!! So here is a little secret you need to know..."Its the little acts that count!" You don't need a great deal of courage to pull it off. Lower your voice I used to see most of my dude acquaintances do this when they talked to chics. I kept on asking why but no one told me. I embarked on my mini research and found this out; the silent dudes who are not so loud and noisy are the most attractive, they say little but the little they say has quite a lot of impact. Try lowering your voice but not too much such that they have to struggle so much to get what you are saying, just enough t...

We all have those moments when you just don't know how someone really feels about you. One moment you're thinking, they are probably just playing hard to get then they do something that gets you thinking they are totally uninterested and that you should back out. So let's just get the facts right and clear all those doubts we all have. The key pointers can be spotted in these areas; Conversations It could be a phone call, text message or a face to face conversation, whichever it is.. you could pick up a lot. Let's see how.. playing hard to get: First of all, they are able to have small talk with you which is often quite difficult for most people. You could have a conversation which develops into an intimate one then they suddenly withdraw. If it is a text conversation, they will suddenly stop replying and for phone calls or face to face they would try changing the topic or giving in between answers where they are neither saying yes nor no. In a group c...

So let's first start with my own viewpoint on this issue; I personally feel that the age difference really counts and should be considered in a relationship. This is why: Too much of an age difference causes a conflict in the partners' interests and priorities. It will be hard to do activities or go places together. Different motives of getting into the relationship. The issues of relationship goals also factors in here; one partner is in it for a long time commitment but the other is just doing it on the spur of the moment. The much older partner tends to look down on the younger partner in terms of lesser experience and knowledge in matters of relationships. This creates a superior-inferior feeling among the partners which is not healthy in a relationship. Little or no age difference at all is also kinda risky. The partners' mindsets are not far from different.They think almost the same way. This might bring in some sort of conflict in the relationship as ...