Skip to main content

THE UNSPOKEN: The Abusive Relationship

This time I focus on much deeper issues in relationships that we are often trying to cover up and people rarely talk about them.

Domestic violence is something that is often kept on the down low … no one talks about it. It is meant to be a silent suffering and speaking of it is abominable and is like ‘airing dirty laundry’.  In most cases, the victims are often the females

In the victim’s perspective this is how it is…….

The first time he hits you, he was not in a good mood,
The second, it was a mistake; he did not mean it
The third time, it was your fault
The next time you’re sure he’ll change

It never ends!!

Action has to be taken before it gets too late and when so much damage has been done.

So what can you do as the victim;……
  • Accept
First you have to accept that what is happening is indeed domestic violence and that it is not right. The first stage of solving any problem is accepting that the problem is actually there.
  • Stop making excuses
Making excuses shows that you are in denial of what is really happening. When he sees you making excuses for him, he won’t stop.
  • Confront him
You have to talk about it with him when it happens, make sure he understands that what he does to you is not right and you could probably try and find out why he does it.
  • Take action
You are eventually gonna have to do something about it; you could talk to someone about it or take some time off and let things cool off.


By doing all this you are preventing it from getting to the point where you have to walk out.
With domestic violence, you have to stand up against it coz it gets worse each time you do nothing about it and it could even lead to death in some cases. This is the more reason why you can’t let it slip when it happens.

When he never shows any signs of remorse afterwards even though you get really really hurt and does not accept that he is wrong, its probably time to walk out coz this dude has no love for you whatsoever and his feelings towards you could be at the point of hate!!
The other thing about domestic violence is that you gotta know when to walk out, when you are trying everything and nothing is working it’s about time to take the bold step.

Stay safe 😘 

Comments

Must Reads

Long Distance Relationship

It’s the trickiest form of dating. Some people are too scared of it but others are willing to give it a try pegging a very low success rate on it. It could be the strongest relationship or the weakest…it all depends on the partners in the relationship. It has its merits and its fair share of challenges. PROS Absence makes the heart grow fonder! The love just keeps growing and it’s like falling in love a fresh each time you meet. Deep connection. Any chance to talk or meet is highly valued and appreciated. The commitment is serious and more effort is put into it. Successful. Most end up in marriage. The couple is not distracted by ‘small issues’, they are working towards a common goal and clearly know where the relationship is headed… they do everything possible to make it work. Trust . The partners trust each other and they are able to hold on to that trust to stay faithful focusing on their goals as a couple. They keep each other strong. Free. The relationsh

The most important ingredient in Love

Some people tend to think that as long as there's love, nothing else matters. It's all they need. But how many people have been so in love but still ended up not working out... many!! It gets people wondering what could possibly be greater than love ?!?! Some people even stop believing in love thinking it's overrated. Well here's the thing about love, both partners want to feel appreciated, acknowledged, respected, understood... all that..it is what forms the bond in a relationship. But there's also that other side of every human being that doesn't want to fail, everyone wants to win or at least die trying; we all want to be right, have the superior opinions, win the arguments. It boosts our ego, makes us feel valuable, indispensable. So what happens in a relationship; what breaks them.. It's easier to receive/ take than give as it is less risky, less demanding, I mean all you have to do is sit back, relax and receive . Humans are however reciproca

Valentine Love

I totally made that word up but give me a chance to explain it to you… Valentine’s is considered THE day of love; a day when people express and celebrate their love for each other.   Some people don’t buy into the idea feeling like there’s no need to have a day to do something that should actually be done every single day. I actually am for the idea of valentine’s; a day to do something just a little extra. Valentine’s however present an idea of a ceremonial love, expressing love on specific occasions then going back to a lull, being comfortable and not putting in extra effort. This could be birthdays, holidays… special occasions. So what really is a valentine love? A love that is inconsistent, absent most of the time, only presented as a gift when it’s convenient… just enough to keep the fire from dying out but not really adding any wood to fuel it. This kind of love slowly gets toxic and becomes an obsession, an addiction. It’s harder to leave when the droplets