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MaMa



Motherhood is a never ending journey.. once you get on board you can't just decide to alight.. doesn't matter how you got on it in the first place.
I know I am personally scared of this journey; from conception to labour to sleepless nights and dealing with rebellion.. Mostly just scared of the pain but motherhood isn't just about pain, it  sure has its equal share of pain and happiness.The pain however is not as a result of doing anything wrong but rather part of the journey.
With that said.. I am not a mother, have never been one and probably won't be one anytime soon but I am still allowed to send a message to mothers.. without them none of us would even exist.

The ASPIRING Mother

Children look so cute,  just one look at them and you can't stop thinking of holding your own in your hands. You're so eager to be a mother, the idea of having a mini you, feeding, clothing, loving and caring for it, excites you.
It's easy to forget the aspect of family and you might get so desperate that you don't care how you get the baby just as long as you get one.
Your excitement on motherhood is a good thing, focus that energy on preparing a good place for the angel. This involves preparing yourself, growing yourself mentally, building yourself to be strong for them. It would also be good the angel came into a family where he/she has a daddy.
So don't be in a hurry, take your time to find a good daddy worthy of your angel and also take time to make yourself a good mommy
All good things take time.

The UNPLANNED Mother 

Yes, you hadn't planned for it, but it happened. You might think you made a mistake, maybe; sleeping with the wrong guy, not taking precautions, rushing into it, falling so cheaply for the lies, that doesn't make the baby a mistake. He/she has nothing to do with it, wasn't part of it, wasn't there when it was happening. The baby is not a result of the mistake but a result of a biological reaction.. so if you're looking to blame someone, blame your body for reacting.
Don't take it out on the baby. Do good by him/her. Give all the love you feel you didn't get. Show him/her how to be a good person such that they won't make the mistakes you feel you made.
Make Lemonades; see it as a new beginning.

The FAMILY Mother 

Yay! You found a daddy for the angel, walked down the aisle and got a home. It's all rosy till the first angel comes. The pressure starts to kick in; its new, more responsibilities, challenges. You have to share the love. You're juggling being a wife, mother, managing a home, it could be overwhelming but with time it becomes part of you. You find yourself thinking about daddy and the angel first all the time.
A time will come when you'll be all your angel will have in terms of someone to stand up for him/her. You might have to own his/her mistakes at times as well as be part of their success, giving support even though the path they take is a bit different. You're the one who sticks with them till the end no matter what even when they start to rebel, see you as the enemy. You'll have to forgive more than you normally would, never giving up.
With time more angels come and each one is different, you at least have an idea now. Try and understand each one in their own way and there's just more love to go around. It's a whole new experience in itself; watching them grow, change and finding their place in the world. 
Be present; don't forget to enjoy it!

The BARREN Mother 

The fact that you are barren doesn't make you less of a mother. I believe from the time we are born we are actually already mothers; from the dolls, to taking care of our aunts', sisters' children or even siblings. Motherhood isn't just about giving birth, it's also about what comes after; nurturing, supporting and protecting. 
It's not your fault or your partners'; you have no control over it, you didn't choose to be that way. It's hard; pressure from the society, discrimination, being looked down on and just your own feelings of not being woman enough. Never give up; you never know what's in store for you, some people still conceive much later. But don't obsess over it, just let things happen. I know it's every woman's dream to carry their own child but don't be afraid to consider other options like adoption, your child may be out there and just because you didn't give birth to them doesn't make them not yours. 
You're not less of a mother, your path is just different, embrace it! 

The FATHER Mother

You're probably just a victim of circumstance, you find yourself having to be a father and mother at the same time. Pick yourself up and be up to the task. this is not the time to focus on what put you in that situation, you won't be able to change it anyway. 
Now you have to learn what exactly a mother does and bring it to the table, things you probably didn't see yourself ever doing. You feel it more when its a girl and it a whole new world, you know totally nothing about it. Research, consult, don't reject help; take all the help you can get.
Don't be afraid to find a mommy for the angel, there's nothing wrong in it, you are not betraying anyone. Make sure they're up to the task and won't disappoint or come between you and your angel. You just have to share the love.
There's no shame in it, keep trying!  

The GRANDmother  

You made it! You dealt with it all..you were able to raise your angels and now they are raising their own angels, its crazy. It might seem unreal, it was just the other day you were holding them in your hands..how time flies.
Don't be possessive, you have to let go; let them figure it out just the way you did. You can guide but don't control them. You might feel lonely, alone and feel the need to demand attention that's where the grandchildren come in..they give you company and make you laugh when they are around.
They are however your grandchildren let their parents raise them and you can just add on to that. You just sit back, relax and enjoy your hard work; the fruits of your labour.
All you have to do is give love; you sure have a lot of it to give!

Long Live Mama!


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