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wait๐Ÿ˜‡ OR settle๐Ÿ˜

I recently saw something that sent chills down my spine. You see the way people nowadays hold up signs saying "I need a job" , well that one said "I need a husband" . It got me thinking of what could have possibly led to this situation and how to evade it.. Fun๐Ÿ’ƒ๐Ÿธ In their twenties, most girls are always saying NO to dudes that are interested in something serious with them especially when words like; marriage, future, kids are used. They'd rather 'enjoy' in relationships that aren't serious because they are either afraid of commitment or feel like they are still too young to think of the future. By the time they are finally ready to settle down, all the husbands have already been taken and they become frustrated and desperate. My take; Mental stability is all you need to go into a relationship. There is no specific age. Do not be             afraid to get into it when you feel you are mature enough to handle one. Remember this is   ...

LOVE...An Investment?๐Ÿค”

Come to think of it, what is love?...Isn't it all about the time, gifts, attention you give to your partner. Every single thing you do for your partner either to win them over or keep them counts. Isn't there an end goal or an expectation in doing all these?  Don't we all expect that the more we give the more we will receive from our partners? And what is an investment , isn't it the action of putting money, effort, time, etc. into something to make profit or get an advantage, or the money, effort, time, etc. used to do this.  We however tend to convince ourselves that our actions are not essentially an investment but rather an expression of love. We've all heard of  partners who've helped the other partner when they were not doing so well in life but get dumped when cette partner makes it big. What happens? Can we say it's a case of falling out of love?.. It's just a case of poor communication between the partners. Both parties should b...

THE UNSPOKEN; Childlessness

Most people enter into marriages without knowing each other's fertility status , no one even thinks about this in the courtship stage. They are either busy being in love with each other or focusing on getting married that they are not able to think about what happens next. This therefore leads to divorces, infidelity, abusive or spiteful relationships where regret follows when they are confronted with the problem. How do you avoid the situation altogether?.. In the courtship stage when things seem to be getting more serious, it's best to talk to your partner about the issue.  Find out how they feel about kids and if they could handle being childless. Talk about what each of you would do in such a scenario and it's best to be as honest as possible with each other. Explore your options in the case this ever happens to you in the course of your marriage. You should also both get examined by a doctor to determine your fertility status. You are able to make decisions ...

THE UNSPOKEN; The Abusive Relationship 2

In most relationships the abusers are men. They usually feel like they own women and therefore have a right to treat them as they wish. This is what they keep telling themselves... They provoked me It was their fault I was angry It's not a habit, happened just this once These are just excuses you tell yourself to justify your actions but this just makes things move from bad to worse. Here's what you should do; Accept You have to accept that what you are doing is not right and start looking at them as mistakes. Confront Face your mistakes and handle them. Lay the blame on yourself instead of the victim and reflect on why it happens and how to prevent it. Be remorseful  You have to apologize for your mistakes and show remorse by following up with an initiative or resolution to change. Seek help  You are eventually going to have to accept that you have a problem if it keeps on repeating itself and do something about it. You could go for ...

THE UNSPOKEN: The Abusive Relationship

This time I focus on much deeper issues in relationships that we are often trying to cover up and people rarely talk about them. Domestic violence is something that is often kept on the down low … no one talks about it. It is meant to be a silent suffering and speaking of it is abominable and is like ‘airing dirty laundry’.  In most cases, the victims are often the females In the victim’s perspective this is how it is……. The first time he hits you, he was not in a good mood, The second, it was a mistake; he did not mean it The third time, it was your fault The next time you’re sure he’ll change It never ends!! Action has to be taken before it gets too late and when so much damage has been done. So what can you do as the victim;…… Accept First you have to accept that what is happening is indeed domestic violence and that it is not right. The first stage of solving any problem is accepting that the problem is actually there. Stop making...

Rekindle The Fire!

At least each couple goes through that phase in their relationships. You feel like there is so much 'distance' between you and your partner yet they are right beside you. It is completely normal, don't freak out, something can be done about it. So what can you do.. Vacation Plan one just for the two of you or even with your family if you have one. A vacation takes your mind off the pressures of everyday life like work. You are able to focus completely on yourselves due to the absence of distractions. Make it a habit so you are able to always get time for yourselves and really connect with each other once in awhile. Dates You need to take time to take each other out just the two of you. It doesn't have to always be the man taking the lady out, the lady could also do it once in awhile...it would actually be a sweet surprise for him. Going on dates enables you to appreciate each other. You are able to take time to look good for your partner and they appreci...

Man Up!

Word around town is that totally straight dudes are finding it hard to behave like the men they are. We can't have straight dudes behaving like chics!! Dr. ๐Ÿ’š just had to step in!! So..there are those dudes who just find it hard to man up in relationships; could be they are the shy type, they are so in love they don't know how to behave...but not anymore..Geejay to the rescue!! So here is a little secret you need to know..."Its the little acts that count!" You don't need a great deal of courage to pull it off. Lower your voice I used to see most of my dude acquaintances do this when they talked to chics. I kept on asking why but no one told me. I embarked on my mini research and found this out; the silent dudes who are not so loud and noisy are the most attractive, they say little but the little they say has quite a lot of impact. Try lowering your voice but not too much such that they have to struggle so much to get what you are saying, just enough t...